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Methods to Determine & Launch Repressed Feelings — Talkspace


What Are Repressed Feelings?

Repressed emotions are these which can be unconscious. They differ from suppressed feelings, that are emotions you deliberately keep away from since you’re not sure of the best way to cope with them. Whenever you suppress issues, you already know that you simply’re pushing them down.  

For example, say you’ve gotten a foul argument together with your vital different tonight. You will have an particularly vital enterprise assembly to attend within the morning. So, you would possibly select to suppress the way you’re feeling concerning the argument till you make it by means of that assembly when you’ve gotten the time and power to focus in your emotions extra. That is an instance of suppressing feelings.

Emotional suppression will be useful as a short-term resolution, so long as you already know it’s vital to return and handle what you’re avoiding as quickly as attainable.

However, repressed feelings are by no means processed. The issue with that is they don’t simply go away. As a substitute, they’ll doubtless present up sooner or later — typically within the type of attainable psychological or bodily signs.

Why will we repress our feelings?

Repressed emotion typically stems from a distressed childhood. Maybe as a baby, you realized it was safer to keep away from constructive or damaging feelings as a result of that’s what your main caregivers taught you to do. You might have realized to bury highly effective and troublesome feelings deep inside since you weren’t allowed to specific them overtly. As this habits turns into a behavior, you may turn out to be an knowledgeable at repressing your feelings, generally with out even realizing what you’re doing.

In case your dad and mom or caregivers judged or criticized your emotional expressions, by no means talked about any constructive or damaging emotion they skilled, or did not encourage you to specific your self, as an grownup, you would possibly really feel out of contact together with your feelings and not sure of the best way to specific them in a wholesome, productive manner.

Mostly repressed feelings

Most individuals are inclined to repress highly effective and troublesome feelings, particularly these which can be related to disagreeable previous experiences. We generally repress what we concern others would possibly think about as damaging emotions like frustration, concern, disappointment, disappointment, and anger. Individuals don’t sometimes repress constructive feelings like pleasure, love, and happiness.

Once more, this might return to childhood, particularly if you happen to have been advised issues like:

  • You have to be grateful for what you’ve gotten
  • Cease being ungrateful
  • There’s no purpose to be sad
  • Cease performing unhappy
  • You might want to relax

It’s vital to level out that there’s a distinction when statements like this are used sometimes to redirect or calm a baby down. They typically solely turn out to be detrimental after they’re used to stifle kids’s pure emotional expression. When emotions aren’t honored or validated, it could possibly educate kids that their sincere feelings aren’t of worth. 

Even when your dad and mom didn’t deliberately low cost your feelings, it’s attainable they could have inadvertently discouraged you from expressing your self freely. Because of this, you may need begun to think about disappointment, anger, disappointment, and different robust feelings as being inappropriate methods so that you can specific your self.

Moreover, if you happen to constantly acquired reinforcement that it’s extra applicable to specific constructive feelings like happiness and pleasure, you may need realized it’s solely OK to share the great (not damaging) feelings. This realized habits can simply carry over to maturity.

“Generally we expertise conditions which can be so troubling that our thoughts’s preliminary response is to guard us by repressing our emotional response. If you end up performing out of character, or saying or doing issues that appear like stunning reactions, even for you, it might be time to speak to a licensed therapist or psychiatrist about what’s happening so you may work to get to the basis of what’s inflicting this.”

Talkspace therapist Ashley Ertel, LCSW, BCD, C-DBT


Victoria Joy
I am an independent lady, working hard to share my ideas from my experiences to the whole world. I want people to be happier and to understand that your life is very very important. Walk with me and experience the beauty this world can offer by following simple logical steps.


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