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Not Meant to Go By means of it Alone: Fr. Mark-Mary Ames, CFR discusses Religious Path


I had the immense privilege just lately of talking with Fr. Mark-Mary Ames, CFR, director of communications for the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, about his vocation story and the position that non secular path performed on his journey to the priesthood.  He discusses non secular path inside the order, what it’s and isn’t, and what we will do within the absence of normal non secular path.

Fr. Mark-Mary, will you inform us a bit of bit about your self and your order?

Fr. Mark-Mary: Initially from southern California, I grew up Catholic, and was concerned in youth ministry however solely went all in for the Lord throughout my first 12 months of faculty at Loyola Marymount.

I had my deeper conversion inside the first couple of months of my freshman 12 months.  I used to be serving to out on a youth retreat and heard somebody talking about Mom Teresa.  It was simply in passing, however I skilled this deep need to present my life away to the poor and a realization that nothing else would fulfill me. I’d say that’s after I acquired my vocation to be a missionary.  

Quickly after, via studying in regards to the sacraments, significantly the Eucharist and Confession, the will to be a priest welled up.  This all occurred in the midst of a number of months.  After which someday, after a younger grownup assembly, we have been sitting at In-and-Out Burger and I heard about this group of Franciscans in New York who’re hard-core and sleep on the bottom.  

To my 18-year-old sensibilities, that was essentially the most “all in” approach I’d heard to reside the priesthood.  I went house and appeared up the Group of Franciscan Friars of the Renewal that evening, learn the constitutions, and there I noticed all of my wishes.

From there it was solely a matter of seeing if the friars have been who they stated they have been.

The Lord moved rapidly in that season and made the top very clear, partly I feel as a result of getting there was going to be a bit of tougher. 

That readability and conviction have been graces; even within the distractions, I by no means doubted the decision.

Within the midst of my discernment, I keep in mind occurring a date with a lady after which coming house and watching a documentary on Pope John Paul II and being so moved with the will to be a priest.  I couldn’t deny it.

I later had an opportunity to go along with a good friend and train for a 12 months at a Zulu college in South Africa.  That was a chance to see if this need was, actually, what I wished to do with my life.  It was–I used to be all in. 

I used to be in contact sufficient with my deepest wishes to know that this, actually, was what I wished.

After I returned from Africa, I contacted the CFRs.  The Franciscan College of Steubenville was really useful as the subsequent step.  I realized a lot at Franciscan College as a result of I grew up in a house with sincerity however not a variety of catechesis and never a lot of an understanding of devotions—issues like devotion to the Sacred Coronary heart or Marian consecration, these I realized at Franciscan.

I graduated there at 24 years previous and went on to affix the friars.

Are you able to share with us the charism of the CFRs?

Fr. Mark-Mary: We began in 1987 within the South Bronx with eight founders who had all been Capuchins – Fr. Benedict Groeschel and Fr. Andrew Apostoli are a number of the higher knowns- but it surely was from the beginning a really numerous solid.  (One among them was really simply ordained a bishop—Bishop Robert Lombardo of the Archdiocese of Chicago.)  

A part of the genius and windfall of this starting was that they needed to create a neighborhood that might match all of those massive, numerous personalities, and there’s a well being to our neighborhood now which is a fruit of that.

Our charism is, to begin with, a combination of communal and private prayer that provides as much as about 4 hours a day.  We even have a retreat day which we name a prayer day, now we have hermitage each month and a few retreats annually.  We pray 5 occasions a day collectively, too, communally.  So prayer is on the coronary heart of it.

After which we take very severely, perhaps greater than most, the fraternal life: we reside collectively, work collectively, eat collectively, pray collectively.

It’s from prayer and from fraternity that our exterior mission flows, which is evangelization and materials help to the poor—soup kitchens, shelters, issues like that.

Did you take pleasure in non secular path as you have been discerning the priesthood and the CFRs?

Fr. Mark-Mary: I felt the will to be a friar at 19 and I didn’t enter till I used to be 24.  I didn’t have any non secular path for the primary three years or so of that season.  And I feel that whereas the Lord supplied, and it labored out, there’s no good rationalization for why it did work out. 

I didn’t have any path.  I didn’t have any mentoring.  I didn’t have any background. Numerous it was simply intuition, and the Lord merely offering.

In different phrases, non secular path wasn’t part of my early discernment.  Which was why errors occurred that didn’t must.  

Have been you conscious that you could possibly have had non secular path?  Have been you trying to find a non secular director?  Do you know that there was such a factor?

Fr. Mark-Mary: I don’t know that I knew what it was.  However even as soon as I knew the idea, I nonetheless didn’t actually perceive it.

As a result of it could possibly imply various things.  There’s non secular path correctly understood. You pray, deliver your prayer to your non secular director, and the 2 of you discuss what you see the Lord doing.  

Numerous occasions now, we’ll use the time period non secular path, principally to imply non secular mentorship the place we’re bringing much more to the dialog.  

Once you have been on the Franciscan College of Steubenville making ready for the priesthood, have been you given a non secular director for discernment functions?

Fr. Mark-Mary: As a part of the discernment program, guys have been requested to get a non secular director.  However there have been too few monks and too many college students. It wasn’t deep, and it wasn’t significantly useful.  The monks themselves weren’t essentially shaped as non secular administrators, both.  That may be one other situation.

Since I’ve joined the Friars of the Renewal, all of us have non secular administrators.

Are they all the time from inside your neighborhood?

Fr. Mark-Mary: It’s as much as the person.  There are particular members of the neighborhood that you simply can not go to for path due to their position in your life, and the necessity to defend the interior and exterior discussion board.  So in case you are in formation and there are folks voting on you, they can’t be your non secular director.

For the primary couple years, as a postulant and novice, they’re usually assigned to you.  After which in some unspecified time in the future, you’ll be able to select from an authorised checklist.  

Postulants now have a postulant director, a non secular director, and likewise weekly non secular mentorship as a part of the everlasting discussion board.  

I’m certainly one of three friars who meet with postulants one-on-one for thirty minutes every week.  That is so vital for these males as a result of they typically don’t have expertise in talking in regards to the inside life nor have they got expertise in non secular path.  As mentors, we aren’t solely on their staff, however we’re asking them the correct questions and serving to them converse in regards to the inside life and giving them enter about what to deliver and never deliver to non secular path itself.

Once you say ‘exterior discussion board’ do you imply that you’re free to deliver these conversations to the neighborhood as a part of the two-way discernment course of?  So it isn’t as non-public and closed as non secular path?

Fr. Mark-Mary: Right.  So I can discuss to Fr. Harmless, the postulant director, about what’s or is just not going properly in these conversations—though we aren’t discussing it often within the context of whether or not or not every man is an efficient match with us.  We’re simply wanting to like and take care of him and put together him irrespective of the place he’s finally known as.  

What position does non secular path play in your life now, as a recipient?

Fr. Mark-Mary: I first went via 5 non secular administrators in 5 years after coming into.  They have been all friars, and I wished a friar as a result of they knew the life so properly.  However then they might get moved to a different nation, or get elected Superior, or issues like that. 

To search out some stability, I discovered a diocesan priest, and that’s who I’ve now.  He went via IPF (The Institute for Priestly Formation) so he’s been skilled in it.  He’s in New York, so I am going see him each month.  Friars have a 48-hour private retreat each month, which is essential to us, so after I make my private retreat, I meet with him throughout that point.  That’s not what each friar does.

Why is that month-to-month private retreat such a precedence on your order?

Fr. Mark-Mary: Numerous causes.  Initially, as Franciscans, we’re spiritual.  So our major name is to contemplation and the inside life.

Individuals may not suppose that once they meet you and see you among the many poor on the streets.

Fr. Mark-Mary: Sure – however that’s one thing that may be very clear in Vita Consecrata (the apostolic exhortation by Pope John Paul II on the consecrated life and its mission within the Church and the world).  As consecrated males, the first purpose we exist is our inside relationship with the Lord.  And that must be protected as a result of the inertia of life will all the time be pulling us away.

We do reside within the context of the world, and we’re very apostolic-minded, so it is extremely simple if we aren’t cautious, to change into hyperactive at the price of our inside life. And so the common prayer helps and the month-to-month retreat helps us to not solely relaxation however mud off the stuff of the world which will have crept in. 

One of many causes that I feel persons are extra conscious of non secular path now’s that persons are waking as much as the truth that what you might be describing by way of your order, the contemplative core of the lively life, is definitely true for everyone.  

There’s a deeper understanding that the fruit of every part we do comes from our relationship with God. Religious path is an efficient method to preserve us centered, preserve us centered, preserve us grounded in what is admittedly on the coronary heart of the non secular journey: what God is doing in our prayer and the truth that every part else flows from that.  I feel we’re collectively coming to an appreciation of the advantages of normal path.

That stated, what would you say to folks trying to find a non secular director?  Is it value pursuing, particularly if it has come to really feel like an train in frustration? 

Fr. Mark-Mary: It’s vital for us to comprehend that within the 12 months 2022 we live, no less than in america, in a really fractured society.  If we have been residing in a distinct tradition, we would have entry to different assets and mentors.  You’d produce other individuals who know you and are mentors for you in no matter your state in life. Now we don’t take pleasure in a “private staff” to help us in the identical approach because it existed up to now. 

However we aren’t meant to undergo it alone.  And that’s an actual wrestle of recent women and men who’re attempting to comply with the Lord.

I point out this as a result of typically when folks come to non secular path, what they’re actually in search of is another person to be on their staff, who they belief, who’s like-minded, who can assist converse into their life—however the actuality is that the demand for non secular path is way larger than the provision.  

I’m a kind of digital porter for our neighborhood as a result of I run the communications, and so I obtain frequent requests for non secular path from the friars.  We’ve to virtually all the time say no.  And that’s true of most monks and non secular — there’s only a few who’ve the capability to tackle extra.

So what do we are saying about that?  Effectively, the very first thing I’d say is, when you have an everyday prayer life, a mentor who’s ideally in an analogous state in life, an everyday confessor, and a few sort of stable non secular studying —you will be in a reasonably good beginning spot.  For most individuals, that’s extra doable than discovering a non secular director—and truthfully, perhaps much more useful than having a non secular director with out this stuff.

Being part of lay apostolate or third order goes to be extraordinarily useful as properly. 

Lastly, a part of the answer is to supply extra coaching for laypeople to be non secular administrators.  Having fewer and fewer monks is only a actuality that won’t change in a single day.   I feel that’s a part of the explanation God is elevating up increasingly laypeople who can provide path—and that’s an enormous win for the Church. 


Editor’s word: There are numerous good choices for stable formation in non secular path.  Two that we suggest are the Coronary heart of Christ College of Religious Path, which is together with the Avila Institute, and the Religious Path Formation Program on the Institute for Ministry Formation at St. Vincent’s Seminary.

For some small steps towards massive non secular progress, see Fr. Mark-Mary’s ebook, Habits for Holiness, and pay attention in to the Poco a Poco Podcast with the Friars of the Renewal.

Picture courtesy of the Group of Franciscan Friars of the Renewal and @racheljomoore.


Victoria Joy
I am an independent lady, working hard to share my ideas from my experiences to the whole world. I want people to be happier and to understand that your life is very very important. Walk with me and experience the beauty this world can offer by following simple logical steps.


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